"The Moment-Misser"

My husband just called me a moment misser...it was supposed to be more of a tease, but when I thought about it, I realized that I do miss many opportunities for a "moment".  We went to the pumpkin patch after church this past Sunday.  I had come up with an idea for a great family day but I had so played it up in my mind's eye, that when, of course, it did not go as envisioned, I had a rough time getting over my failed plan and the frustration that accompanied it. 

I was so looking forward to taking some vivid photos.  I had seen so many kid's photos taken during their pumpkin patch experiences and I was sure that I too would be among the many mom's deliriously happy with their latest candid shots.  The kids were all dressed up: the boys had on their new white shorts and Kezi had her new glittery shoes (Target clearance find - I love a sweet deal!).  All day I pictured the great fun it would be, the wonderful family moment that would be remembered through the ages...alas, it was not so.  From bees, to muddied bums, the wonderful outing turned ominous from the moment we started our picnic, that Antony insisted we eat in the car.  Not a great idea when mustard is a part of your picnic fare.  The mustard soon became part of the the baby's attire and the car's carpeting (what was I thinking to bring mustard!?!).  I decided to stay behind to feed Marc Alec while the others went out to start the fun-filled afternoon (except Jonathon who had been plagued by ants).  When I got the phone call from Antony, not 5 minutes later, that Luke's white pants were already soiled with dirt and taht Kezi's shoes no longer looked new, I knew things were starting to go downhill.  So I called him to find out where they were but we couldn't find each other...by this time I could sense major tension in both of our voices.  Finally, we hooked up and got on the hayride and after being attacked by bees, we set off.  Okay, things didn't look good up to this point, but that's okay, I was set that we could definitely fit in a sweet, we-are-such-a-happy-family picture.  I left my camera in the car b/c Antony said we could just use his IPhone for pics...but when he realized I wanted the nice couple sitting across from us to actually hold and touch the beloved thing to get a family photo, my idea was quickly shot down.  How could I have been so daft...it's no question they would've jumped out of the hayride, with their kids in tow, to steal it (when they probably had their own).  Well, his response finished it for me.  I wanted those family pics SO bad and not getting the exact replica of what I had foreseen in my mind for our outing, tipped me over the edge.   I was done...and although I knew I should stop the ugly part of me from taking over and becoming The Moment-Misser, I chose the wrong path (as I tell the kids so often NOT to choose).    Oh yes...I ignored him that whole hay ride.  So mature, so loving, I know.  And the funny thing was that at one point he even said, "What, you aren't going to talk to me the whole day?  Oh yes, I see, everything hasn't gone EXACTLY as Lisa pictured in her mind and so now you're upset and it's going to be a miserable rest of the day."  Of course, he hit the nail on the head and it hurt - I didn't like it.  Thankfully, I got my act together - after the hayride (and we did sneak in a couple of pics - albeit, not a full family one).  But I realize, how many moments I miss b/c things don't quite turn out exactly as I picture.  Instead of rolling with the punches, making the most of a situation gone awry, I tend to whine about what hasn't gone acccording to my plan and then I just miss the moment for a special memory and I pretty much ruin it for everyone.  So, I am determined.  I will not be a moment misser!  I will enjoy the moments during the day.  I'll take the time to stop and listen and be a part of something my kids want to tell me or show me, even if I'm in the middle of something.  Days are filled with so many of these special moments and each one holds the open door to inspire me, challenge me, teach me, or give me a precious treasure that if ignored, is so quickly swept away.  Let's embrace every moment - they will more than likely turn out even better than we planned.

Feta and Zucchini Quiche

Just made some delicious quiche tonight and it was super easy.

2 Zucchini thinly sliced - (not paper thin - I just eye ball it) - with skins off (or you can leave them on, I just didn't have organic ones and didn't want to eat wax and Kezi doesn't like the skins either, so it worked)
Feta
Swiss
Onion (as much or little as you like) Sautéed in coconut oil or use fresh green onion
Garlic Salt (or salt and fresh garlic, sautéed)
Pepper
Italian Seasoning
8 -10 eggs
8tsp milk

Arrange zucchini in an 8x10 dish up the sides as well as the bottom.  Overlapping of zucchini will happen.  While onion is sautéing, shred swiss cheese and put on top of zucchini with the crumbled feta (or you can just use feta).

I put the eggs and milk, garlic salt and onion in my mixer and liquefied it and then poured it on top of the zucchini/cheese.  I sprinkled a bit of Italian seasoning and pepper (which you could just add to the mixer - or use cayenne for an extra zingy kick) and cooked in a preheated oven at 350 for 30-40 minutes.  You can add more cheese and allow it to melt for the last 5 minutes - but I don't.

Here'a  variation that I LOVE (but I didn't have all the ingredients this time):
Use Feta only (and lots of it!)
Greek Olives chopped or sliced
Spinach, chopped
Tomato, chopped
Sprinkle the last 3 ingredients after you pour the mixture into the dish (gives it a nice color and presentation).
Then cook as stated above.

This is a great recipe b/c you can play with it and add or take out anything that suits your fancy (mushrooms, red/green/orange/yellow peppers,

We serve with avocado (for your good fats) and crispy tortillas (grilled to a crunchy perfection) or with a slice of sprouted grain toast - YUM!

Note:  Don't even consider changing the eggs to egg beaters...read up on it - super BAD for you - oxidized and so unhealthy.  Find Farm Fresh eggs if you can in your area...check Craigslist...eggs are a complete protein and truly the incredible, edible egg!

Rah, Rah, Shish-kum-bah!

It never ceases to amaze me when I think of the fact that everything I am doing/teaching/living in front of my kids will affect their entire lives...sobering, don't you think?  How they will interact with people, how they will succeed in relationships, money, jobs...it's so huge.  It can be an overwhelming realization if you look at your own strength and ability because you inevitably look at your weaknesses and insufficiencies.  I used to get paranoid about this reality  - well, maybe not "paranoid"...but I'd definitely freak out if Antony and I would make the error of raising our voices in front of my kids.  Yes, we have argued in front of them and still do at times.  We are a work in progress and praise the Lord, we've made A WHOLE LOT of progress.  But I would get to the point that I'd be so focused on our mistakes, and all that we weren't doing that all I could see were children that would be scarred for life.  I'd forget to look at the progress we had made and then instead of being encouraging, I'd bring my spouse down instead of build him up.  I couldn't just compliment him and say, "Babe, that was really great how you dealt with that situation with the kids.  You are just doing a great job."  I had to be sure to add in the P.S. and say, "But you know there's still so much you have to do.  So much that still needs to be made right or the kids will grow up to be...."  I was only prohibiting the very thing I wanted to see in our home.  I felt like it was my place to keep reminding him - to keep in his full focus the strides that were needed to see our family succeed.  As if he didn't already know it.  I hate it when people remind me of things that I know need fixing and that I'm working really hard at achieving.  But of course, I felt the need to continually remind him.  Unfortunately, I never saw that I was cutting him down each time I reminded him of his other failings.  For every good effort he made, a positive change/growth, I would only keep in front of him how far he still had to go...how's that for cheerleader of the year?  I mean, seriously...we all know that people do better when they are cheered on for every triumph and encouraged when grace is extended for each downfall.  But I was cutting my own teammate at the feet!  And many times I would lord it over him - put myself on a higher plane - to make him see how low he was and how he needed to improve all the more.  It's a wonder I've never been crowned "Meanie of the Year".

I am not 100% there yet.  At times, my peppy cheers are out the window and I fall back into my old habit of seeing the cup half filled.  But, I got to the place, where I see that we are our own special and unique family.  There will be things Antony and I will do, right and wrong things, that our children will see.  But if I am allowing myself to be transformed daily, giving Him my shortcomings so that He can mold me, then God's grace will cover the errors we are sure to make and He will be the One to shape my children into the men and women He sees them as.  I had gotten to the place where I thought my "works" would ensure they turn out all right instead of entrusting them to Him with the knowledge that in my own human strength I could never give them everything they need to be successful....I could only offer them the one person that can - Jesus.   I depend on His grace and I set my faith that they will walk in the destiny that God has for them.  I am living out my relationship with Jesus in front of them.  I know I will make a mistake and when I do, instead of pretending like I can go through life without erring (like I used to in my self-righteous state), I can use the opportunities to teach them what to do when that mistake is made.  How to make things right with daddy when I get snappy or argumentative, or how to walk in self-control when I deal with the boys and some of their weird boy-things they've got going on (like the time I found out they were trying to pee into the toilet while perched on the sink).  I can talk to them about my consistent state of righteousness, the fruits of the Spirit, and how to trust the Holy Spirit for His help and guidance...that by the power of Jesus Christ I am transformed everyday.

One thing is for sure - cheering my family on to victory in this life is definitely more fun and brings more joy to us than a constant view of defeat.  Chicken Family...Let's go, let's go, L-E-T-S-G-O!!!.

What is it about Monday's?

It's amazing how quickly reality smacks you in the face after the euphoria fades.  Monday, I woke up and I didn't feel like doing anything.  The list of things I needed to do was extensive and, of course, add to it 4 kiddies...well, I wasn't too chipper, to say the least.  After a late night I had to get up early to get Antony his breakfast.  I was making him some Avena...cooked oats then liquefied with milk, agave, cinnamon and vanilla extract...yummmmm.  Anyway, all the kids were in bed and I so wanted to just have a quiet morning and didn't want the loud noise to wake them.  So picture me in my pj's with scrub-type bottoms on walking through the house with a liquefier in my hand and my pants decide to fall down while I am walking to my bathroom.  What a lovely sight for sure.  So breakfast was prepared in the bathroom and after all that rigmarole, the kids woke up as daddy was making his way out the door.  But since I'd had it in my mind that I wanted quiet time, them being up and at it, so early, made me irritable.  Well, more like, I chose to become so.  They didn't MAKE me do anything, I chose to allow my irritation to rule my morning.  Needless to say, I was off to a bad start and I didn't do my planning so the morning felt ill-spent.

It's so easy to get discouraged and just wallow in it.  But in the end, it all comes down to the choice I make.  And how funny when I am teaching my kids about making choices and I'm not doing it myself!  Well, not funny.  Jonathon was doing school the other day and although he was very productive last week, he seemed to be totally off this week.  (Newsflash, Lisa, probably b/c of your lack of planning!  The proof of the domino effect...) Anyway, he was crying and whining about being so hungry and that his hunger pain was just affecting him to the point that he couldn't move his pencil and it was inhibiting brain function  (of course if he had been playing or watching TV he wouldn't have even noticed all that hunger pain) and I told him that if he's so hungry then he should go ahead and just choose to finish his work so that he could eat lunch with us.  I told him that it was his choice to be miserable but that it would lead down the death path or to chose the path that brought good things, the life path.  I told him it was his choice to be upset but nothing good would come out of it - he'd just waste time, waste energy and still be sitting there with the same amount of work to be done and still no food to show for it.  It only makes logical sense to choose the thing that is good for us.  I told him, Jonathon, you are in a race against yourself.  You can choose to stop running but you'll lose the reward that comes at the end.  Stop crying about your issue and run the race so that you can win the reward!  He finally did make the right choice - after a little more of his wallowing in self-pity b/c of extreme hunger...and enjoyed lunch with the rest of us.

My choice to succumb to the lazy river only caused me to drift through my morning and ended up taking me nowhere.  The discouragement bled into my relationships.  I could've enjoyed my children more but instead I was short, curt, agitated, aggravated and whatever else that comes out of me when I'm choosing to be miserable.  But how much time do I waste and energy do I spend b/c I don't make the choice to just run my race?   It's only logical, good sense that says, hurry and make the right choice that will lead you down the Life Path!  Thankfully, I too made the right choice before my whole day was eaten up...it took me a little while but I finally got it.  ;)  And we enjoyed the rest of our day and getting things accomplished.

I have the choice.  My choice determines how long I allow discouragement or even just the "Monday Blues" to stop me from accomplishing all that God has for me in each day.  Maybe going to my room, shutting the door and just being open about what I feel, "Lord, I am feeling yucky right now but I choose life.  I choose to let go of the feelings and determine that my fruits of love, joy and peace will be developed right now.  I need your strength to get me through today."    I don't just leave it with how I feel but I finish it with my choice for life, for the good things God can accomplish in and through me in my day, and I acknowledge that I can accomplish it all by depending on Him.

How "NOT" to make Friends

Antony asked the kids if they wanted to join him at the gym the other day.  Luke, my second born (almost 5 year old) usually doesn't want to play at the kids area there but this time quickly assented to go.  I was a bit surprised and told him so and he so sweetly said that he wanted to go so that I could have some alone time.  He said it was Mother's Day and he wanted me to have fun on "Mother's Day".  It was so sweet - one of those melt your heart moments.  I enjoyed my time alone, although I did have the baby with me and although I did spend the time cleaning....but I did get to talk to my sis-in-law which I don't get the chance to do often.  It was nice.  So they all got back home and Luke asked me if I'd had a nice time and I replied in the affirmative and I asked him in return if he had fun and he replied, "No.  I had to sit down."  I asked, "Why did the teacher have you sit?  What did you do?"  Of course, the little ears on his big brother were in the other room but picked up the signal that something was brewing and he replied for Luke, "He was spitting on the girls!"  Ohhhhh.....ugghhhhhh....the same "I don't understand why you do this!" feeling I get when Luke misbehaves. You know, when you want to yell and cry and shake them and say "WHY?!"  But I quickly composed myself, although I may have rolled my eyes with a little "Oh, Luke..." remark...I don't recall...but hopefully I didn't, though I don't give myself that much credit. ;)  So, I proceeded to explain, for what felt like the millionth time, that to make friends we don't do things like that.  Daddy came in and did a little drama with two scenarios -in the first, he pretended to be a boy that spit on Luke and in the other he introduced himself as a little boy wanting to be friends and wanting to play together and asked Luke which was the best way to make friends.  It put a smile on everyone's face.  But I still left the situation thinking, WHEN is this going to kick in?!  Just the day before we were at the park and he called one of the older girls a name...the problem seems to be with older girls - he wants their attention and them to like him so he does stuff - usually not "nice" stuff - so he can get their attention.  Negative attention is still attention, unfortunately.

But this is one of those things that weighs on me as a mom.  The weight that follows me whenever we go out - at any get-together, play group, church service, etc...  The weight that sends the unrelenting thoughts.  The thoughts that seem to take residence in the back of my mind, never allowing me to fully settle.  Never allowing me to fully enjoy and relax b/c deep down that weight is always whispering at me, getting me to focus on it.  What weight is holding on to you?  Mine may seem trivial, but to me, it's real.  It's something big for me b/c it has to do with my son and his growth.  Yours may be financial, marital, relational, spiritual, emotional.  And we have different ones.  This is my Mom-ital weight.  I'm sure I have others.  But it's taking the time to dig deep and see that we have them.  Seeking out their hiding places.  If we don't find them and then mentally and even verbally recognize that they are trespassing, we are living in deception - not really wanting to deal with the elephant in the room.  But it is there, and until we can see it rationally - for what it really is -  then we will be unable to deal with it spiritually.

I've been reading a book by Dr. Spencer Johnson called, Peaks and Valleys.  (I would encourage everyone to read this and also his book "Who Moved My Cheese?" - read that one first -you can find them at your public library).  And basically he says that life is filled with peaks and valleys.  We all know that b/c we all experience them.  But he talks about how to make your peaks last longer and your valleys shorter.  And one thing is to look at your situation rationally.  Not allowing yourself to see it for more than it is.  If we are in a valley and we magnify it to the point where we can't let ourselves see the truth of the situation, see that it is truly there, we'll be stuck in that valley for a long time.  But if you face the weight, see it for what it is, and what it wants to do in you (stop you from moving forward) then you can identify the steps you need to take to let yourself loose from it's grip.  Also, if you are at a peak, you may see it for more than it is by not facing the little things that would want to take you down from that peak prematurely.  You may be so pie in the sky, everything is going dandy, that you miss pinpointing the little things that will cause you to return to a valley sooner than needed.  It's about constantly checking ourselves.  We have to look and ask the Holy Spirit to show us the little things that are holding us back from being all that He has for us to be.

I could allow myself to talk about my Mom-ital issue like it's never going to change and like it's hopeless.  But instead, I see it for what it is.  I see the truth.  I am in a season.  It's training time and I will not give up.  It's going to take time to see Luke develop into who God has him to be...look at me!  I'm still being worked on!  He's come a long way and he will fail - but he'll be failing forward.  Each mess-up is an opportunity to develop his make-up...I see the reality of the situation so that then I can let my faith work to see that reality change.

Take time to ask yourself the hard questions.  What am I fearing?  What is holding me back?  What is stopping me from moving forward?  Find it, verbalize it, then let God show you how to deal with it so that you can keep moving on up!